Why write it down
Talking about online safety once is not enough, and a list of rules posted without explanation is easy to ignore. A short agreement that you write and read together turns rules into shared expectations. Parent guides such as those from Internet Matters, SafeKids.com and Thorn and others generally favor open conversation over strict bans, and say kids need to know they can stop, block and tell a parent without getting in trouble.
The agreement (for ages 6 to 12)
OUR FAMILY CHAT AGREEMENT I will: 1. Use a nickname or pet name, never my real name. 2. Never share my address, school, phone number or where I am. 3. Chat only in places my parents have set up for me. 4. Talk only with kids my parents say are okay. 5. Be kind, even when someone else is not. 6. Never send or ask for photos or videos. 7. Tell a grown-up right away if something feels weird, scary or mean. I will not get in trouble for telling. My parents will: 1. Know where I chat and who is in the group. 2. Look at my chats with me, not to spy, but to help. 3. Stay calm and listen if something goes wrong. 4. Review these rules with me every few months. Signed (kid): ____________ Signed (parent): ____________ Date: ________
Adjusting it for teens
- Add more privacy: agree on when a parent will check, not just that they will.
- Talk about group chat pressure, screenshots and what happens to messages that are shared.
- Add rules about money, gift cards and anyone asking to move to another app.
- Include how to handle someone who is unkind, including how to block and report.
What a safer chat space looks like
The agreement works best inside a space that was built for children. Look for closed membership, parent approval for each child, no private messages from strangers, text-only posting, age-grouped rooms and fast moderation. Our ten-question checklist walks through each point. In Lumi Circles, the optional kids' room is off until a co-op admin switches it on, each child must be approved by their own parent, and parents can read every message.
Warning signs to watch for
- Secrecy about devices or chats.
- Mood changes after being online.
- New "friends" you have not heard of.
- Requests for photos, gifts or to move to another app.
If you see them, stay calm. Ask open questions, save any messages and report them to the platform. If a child is in danger, contact local authorities.
- No private messages: kids talk only with kids in their own approved co-op and age room.
- Text only, with word filters and a "Tell a grown-up" button.
- Kids are shown by their Lumi Pets pet name, and parents can read every message.
Start the free 48-hour trial. The free trial covers the lessons. Lumi Circles is included once you subscribe to Lumi Academy or Lumi High.
Frequently asked questions
What rules should kids follow when chatting online?
Use a nickname, never share personal details, chat only in approved places with approved people, avoid photos, be kind and tell a grown-up if something feels wrong.
At what age can kids chat online safely?
There is no single age. It depends on the child and the space. Younger children should chat only in closed, parent-controlled spaces and with supervision.
Should parents read their kids' chats?
For younger children, yes. As kids get older, agree on when and how a parent will check, and keep the conversation open.
What should a child do if someone makes them uncomfortable?
Stop talking, take a screenshot if possible, block the person and tell a trusted adult right away. They should know they will not be in trouble.